I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Drake has all the answers
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
