toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just gargled with NyQuil
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
