3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
