He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
