Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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