True but thats because hes a fetus.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
