The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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