Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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