I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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