I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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