So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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