I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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