who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
tell me about the eggs
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
