can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
