Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
