I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
