i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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