Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
