He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize