i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
