i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
