Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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