chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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