Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
