At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
