He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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