Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
