There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
