We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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