got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
