we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
