I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the day after is always just damage control
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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