Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
