she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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