are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
