Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
