You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Houston, we have a squirter
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
