I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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