I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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