When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
