Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize