I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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