and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
