are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
