Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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