...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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