i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
