I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
