You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
