I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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