Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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