piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize