considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
