Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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