i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
