I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
